Hard won peace.

There are some that shy away from conflict, avoiding it at all costs. Then there are others, myself included, that see it as an opportunity for growth. Whereas I used to be afraid of it, now I think 'well, you may as well know how I really feel and see if we can get to the other side of this and be better for it'. Often there is no conflict in that, sometimes it's unavoidable.
I spent the best part of the holidays working. That's okay, someone has to do it, we've all had our turn. Except that I have spent all year working the holidays because all the statutory holidays fall on a Monday which is my regular shift. Apparently it has taken it's toll on the measure of my patience. A mother/wife's workload just increases with the holidays, so I was a little resentful by Christmas Eve when everyone else was thoroughly enjoying time off and I was working at getting the house ready, in preparation for going to work all night where I would get that house ready, to come home and feed a family that would expect to eat something on Christmas day...and so on, and so on, and so on.
When I went out the door at 11pm I knew that there was nothing immediate that I would have to do when I got home in the morning. The plan was that my family would wait while I had a little nap, then we could have a leisurely day. My kids are older and like to sleep in, Christmas being no exception.
So after my nap I wander into the living room to find that the fireplace has regurgitated it's contents onto the living room floor, with a little help from my husband. Weeks worth of paper products thrown all over, a layer of dust under a stack of new firewood, which was waiting in front of a teepee of kindling, resting, in the now clean insides of the fireplace.
I wasn't happy.
My thoughts were of all the work I had done. His thoughts were, 'I'll have a nice fire ready for her when she wakes up.' With stockings full of chocolate a fire would not have been a good idea, and he had clued in to that fact about half way through the process. Now he was waiting for me to wake up so that he could run the vacuum and clean up the dust. Of course I didn't know this at the time, all I saw was the mess and him asleep on the sofa in the midst of it.
Now, (just so you are aware too), I know it is not important how clean a house is. I totally get that, and if you visit my house you will get that too, and most of the time that is okay but I do like to have a clean house for special occasions. I work hard to get it that way. Sure it's not important that's it's clean but the fact that I spent a lot of time getting it that way is. Especially when it's been a sacrifice made for someone else to enjoy.
Did I expect to have conflict on Christmas day? Well no, in fact I can't remember it ever happening before. I certainly didn't plan it, and wouldn't have wanted it for another day either, but it is what it is and you deal with what you get. Sometimes you have the personal resources for it ( read - enough sleep ) and other times you don't. I didn't. So after I had a good cry we gathered together and did what we always do on Christmas morning, although by this time we were closer to afternoon than anything else, and a little more subdued.
When the kids were little it was always a great motivator to let them know that Santa does not come to a messy house. Plenty of hands on deck then to get things in order so that we all could enjoy a day together. Now there's no getting it past them that the only person who really enjoys it is me.
You may ask at this point whether there is a point to this long tirade of mine. (Really I'm not in such a knot about it now as I was a couple of days ago.) If there is then it would be this; unlike Santa, who doesn't come to a messy house, Jesus does. In fact there in that smelly stable, (because what innkeeper would have time to clean with a business full of guests?), he came to bring peace to the messiest of conflicts; the conflict of families and friendships broken by their relationships with sin. He came for my family even when we have days where resentment, inconsideration and disrespect are more apparent than the love and joy. I'm more than thankful for that I'm very much in need of the peace that He brings.