NACR for today Brokenness Part 2

If I give all I possess to the poor
and surrender my body to the flames,
but have not love, I gain nothing.
I Corinthians 13:3

We need to experience loving relationships in order to
heal and grow.  In loving relationships we experience the
safety that allows us to face the truth.  In loving
relationships we experience the support we need to
begin to change. And in loving relationships we learn
that we are lovable and valuable.

Because we have been wounded in relationships, our
instinct is often to run from relationships. We
don't want to be hurt again. This leaves an
enormous void in our souls. And it is this
void which we desperately try to fill with addictions
and compulsions of various kinds. This text focuses
on two manifestations of religious addiction
(compulsive altruism and religiously motivated
self-abuse) and sums up the result: I gain nothing.
The same could be said of all of our addictions. "I
deliver my body to be burned" and "I gain nothing"
are an accurate description not
only of a particular kind of religious addiction
but also of chemical addiction, work addiction,
sexual addiction and relationship addiction, as
well as many self-abusive compulsions.

We gain nothing for all the time and effort
we spend on trying to numb the pain. It does not
achieve the desired result. The void remains.


Although loving fellowship may be frightening for
us, it is the path to recovery.  The vulnerabilities
of intimacy may remind us of earlier times of terror
in life, but there is no way to recover in isolation.
The net result of compulsions and addictions is "I gain
nothing." But the net result of recovery is very
different. There is something to be gained by all
the hard work that recovery requires. Recovery builds
in us a capacity to receive love and a capacity to
give love to others. And that is a real gain.

May God grant you the courage you need today
to pursue loving fellowship.

Lord, you see my guarded heart.
You see the fears that make me run from love.
What I fear is what I want most.
I want to love and to be loved.
Give me courage to open my heart to love today.
Amen.