When the Lord tarries.

My dad has been gone to be with the Lord for almost 20 years now, almost as long as I had him with me. I am the youngest of five and was my father's favorite, as admitted by my siblings after he was gone. I don't think that I was aware of that any time before that but in hindsight I can see that it was probably true. It's amazing to me still how much my relationship with him is the barometer for my relationship with my heavenly father.

My dad was the kind of person who liked to please others, but he was slow and methodical. It took him a while to plan a project and then when he was ready he worked till it was done. (on a side note, my husband is the same way.) He was a functional alcoholic, he was able to always work but lived with a drink in his hand every minute after 5pm. Although that thought makes me sad I know that the fact of it made him sadder.

I remember as a child coming to him with a project that I wanted him to make for me, a playhouse or stilts, or something to that effect. The conversation would go something like this.

me: Daddy, would you please make me a doll house? One with two floors and doors to go from room to room and a kitchen and a living room?

dad: considering for a moment. sure, I can make you a doll house. Do you want it to have one or two bedrooms?

me: One for the mommy and daddy and one for the baby. and then as an after thought and just to show how good a girl I could be to get what I want. Please.

dad: sure I can do that for you.

With all the (im)patience of youth I would sit by his side for a while, waiting. Occasionally sighing. Still waiting. Sure that my dad would at any moment get up from his chair and go into the garage and start work on my project. My sighs must have made their way into his consciousness because he would turn to me after a while and proclaim incredulously and with great laughter.

What? You want me to do that right now?

Sheepishly I would realize that my expectation was unreasonable and assure him that I could wait for my new toy. Unfortunately in the absence of my sighs my dad would forget my request and move on to the work that occupied most of his time and paid for all the care we needed.

Is it any wonder that I worry sometimes that my heavenly Father has forgotten my requests?

I have always believed that the Lord first creates a desire within us for something and then works His way, once we have asked Him for it, to make it happen for us. I think it delights Him to give to His children. It's like he is saying, 'Look at how I take care of you. I give you every good thing for your enjoyment.' He loves, loves, loves to prove Himself to us, and will do so over and over again.

I have been following with interest the conversation that Dan Brennan has been having at Faith Dance. His blog addresses cross-gender friendships. His is currently writing a book and has been reading anything that he can find on the topic, both secular and religious. It interests me because, although as a child I had strong relationships with boys, as an adult I have a distrust of men. Obviously my history plays a large part in that but the desire to find healing and enjoy those close friendships again is strong in me. Quite a while ago God gave me a vision for the church and for me personally that has yet to be fulfilled.

I can see that I have been as impatient with God in this area as I had been with my dad when I was a child. (read: I'm still pretty childish.) Recently in one of my devotional readings I came across this verse with the title 'When the Lord tarries.' It's from Habakkuk. (Now who ever reads that?)

For the revelation awaits an appointed time, it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay. (2:3)


I know that this verse is speaking about something else entirely but the principle of it still applies to what I desire. It shows me that God has not forgotten what He had earlier promised me. That He is working toward the revelation of it. That I should not doubt, nor believe that the desire I have is false. He is different than my dad. He is working on it.

I need to be patient.