Freedom

She's tall and slender, with rich brown hair and we recognize her beauty when the drugs have finally left her system, but for now she is in pain and is asking my permission to skip another meeting. She has done this for days now as she feels the effects of the toxins in their dispute with every cell of her body. 'It hurts everywhere, and I don't think I can sit through it.' she tells me. I believe her, I can see her pain. But I know that she has to start somewhere and so I tell her she must attend this one. It is in house so she can come in her jammies and if she falls asleep, that is okay. I insist that she attend. I can see that I am not her 'buddy' today.
She thanks me later and although I knew she would get something from the meeting I am surprised that she was humble enough to tell me so.
She refers to herself as 'Princess Patti'. We laugh as she recognizes through her recovery just how well that name fits sometimes. For the most part though she is a strong intelligent woman. She loves her children and knows that while her addiction is raging she cannot be with them. The ministry finally removes them permanently from her care and while she recognizes that it is for the best she wonders what will be her motivation for recovery now. I encourage her to remain a loving presence in their lifes but she mourns the loss of her role as caregiver. 'I live for my children, they are the best of everything in my life.'
She knows the love of her savior. When we worship in the park she stands off in the field where I can still see her. Her hands are lifted in praise and I can hear her voice as she sings. I say a prayer of thanks that she can experience His love in this setting. She knows that she is loved by Him, but sometimes she has trouble loving herself. We tell her that we will love her until she can do it on her own.
I come to work one day to discover that the pull of the addiction has taken her out to the streets again. She stays in our little town for a while but then returns to the island where she has many connections to recovery as well as addiction. We hear of her once and a while and sometimes she calls to chat.

Saturday morning Patti was found dead in a Victoria hotel room. Details are slow in coming but the fact remains, she is gone.

Deep in the night her savior came to her and held her in His arms while the drugs claimed her body, He claimed her soul. Today she dances in heaven, finally free.