Resolutions

Since God chose you to be the holy people whom he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are all called to live in
peace.
Colossians 3:12-15 NLT

I have been doing inventory. (I work in a recovery home so those of you who are familiar with the 12 steps would understand what I am talking about. For those of you not familiar, well bear with me it will all make sense in the end.)
I am not counting things but doing a personal inventory. I've been taking a look at the last year and trying to decide if I have been faithful to what God has called me to. It's kind of a new years' resolution, but not.
I know that there are all kinds of things that I could decide for the next year, to improve myself, whether it is losing the few extra pounds I carry or exercising more or just drinking more water (gack!) . If I base future behaviour on past behaviour (Dr. Phil) I know already that this next year will just be like all the others in that regard; I hate exercise, know I go through phases of liking water and currently dislike it, and I know that if I should manage to lose the extra pounds, they will just come back before too long anyway. So I have never really been one to make new years' resolutions like those, what I have done is take personal inventory.

It's not pleasant. Never is. My mother has been staying with me for the last week, and no one is better at taking your inventory than family. Somehow they just know what buttons to push to bring out the best in a person. NOT! Of course they have spent a lifetime setting up the controls on those buttons so it would make sense that they would know how and when to push them. All in all my mother is a very sweet, elderly lady and anyone who knows her would be surprised that she would push anyones buttons. But I digress.

Personal inventory. sigh. Opening up my heart for the examination of the Holy Spirit. There is always room for improvement, let me tell you! I think I succeed for the most part in living life in a way that is pleasing to Him. It's not that I try to live by a set of rules imposed by any one person or institution. I set the standard based on what He has revealed to me. I let Him guide me, and I let Him speak to me through others. I do hold myself accountable to a couple of people, letting them speak into my life. There are some who even let me speak into theirs. (unbe..freakin'...lievable!)
I just know when I get to the end of the day, let alone the end of the year, that I want to be able to look back and say that I did the best that I could. That I was faithful, that I showed kindness, gentleness and patience, but most of all that I showed love. That in the coming year, in those areas where I was less than all that I could be, Christ would win over and I would become more a reflection of Him. That's really all that I can do, all that I can resolve to be.