Adding my voice

Okay, so i'm going to try out this blogging thing too. Thought that I might not have much to say but clearly by all the comments I make.... well, you understand.
We as a church have been on a long journey together. One of grieving, surrender and now a return to joy. I can't even begin to express the joy. Praise the Lord. We have been learning about ourselves and our God. His wonderful love for us. There is a song that says, 'I'm trading my sorrow, I'm trading my shame for the joy of the Lord.' We've been learning to dance in the joy. Quite a feat if you were raised like I was with the doctrine of NO DANCING...GASP, HORRORS.
On a personal level I was experiencing the end of the rope, hanging by a thread to be exact. No idea of what I could possibly do to change the misery that seemed to have made it's way into every part of my life. I felt so insignificant and despaired that anyone could really love me. I felt so ugly. The joy was not evident in any area. Wanted to run away but there was no place to go! Knew deep down that it would be a sin for me to do so.
It's a wonderful thing that when God takes on a journey as a community He speaks the same message to all of us at the same time. Amazing! I had come to the realization that I had to be obedient to my Savior regardless of what I may be feeling. That is always the step He needs from us in order to do what He wills. (I'll never understand that sooner, of course!) Complete surrender, admittion that I am incapable without Him. Unable to dream, to have hope, to love like I should. Was beginning to return to Him, then Scott affirmed the beauty that God sees in all of us. Pulled the mask off my face. Brought me to my knees, addressed in me the sin of blasphemy. Telling God He made a mistake in his creation...me.
We continue on the journey together. Coming to trust in God. Seeing my own beauty, helping others to see theirs. I'll need some time to really take it all in. Right now I'm so hesitant, spending lots of time in prayer. Learning to believe. Trying on my dancing shoes.