Yom Kippur

Yesterday was the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur, or The Day of Atonement. In the Jewish calender it is the most holy day of the year. It is a time for all people to reflect on their own wrongdoings and to seek forgiveness of God. The week before had been one of reflection for me anyway as yesterday was also my birthday. That always makes me introspective.
Today in church Pastor Greg spoke of how we carry the hurts of the past and how they affect us today. We think that we have left them behind but really we haven't. He gave us the example of Christ coming to us and taking us in His arms, holding each one of us close to Him and asking for us to let Him take on those hurts. By taking on the pain of the past He is not saying that it is insignificant or unwarranted but only that He is the only one who can heal us. In giving it to Him we are acknowledging that truth.

He is the only one who can heal the pain of the past.

I've had expectations of people and they have let me down, and in the process I have hurt them. Through what I've said, or what I haven't said. Through the things I have done or should have done but didn't. I know that I am to blame for some of the pain that I carry, and some of it is the fault of someone else. We are not perfect people, I know that I am not and I haven't expected it of others.

I have tried to do what God wants me to do. To respond with love and peace to all. I've failed in that. I've been judgmental, and paid the price for it. I've lost friends along the way. I can't fix it. I wish that I could.

I know that God has a plan for His church universally that is beyond what we could possibly imagine. There is so much that we need to learn in the area of grace and forgiveness. If I want to be a part of that I need to start with my own heart, with my own journey. One of my blogging friends sent me a card with this wish in it for my birthday; 'I pray that many of the seeds you've sown (including those watered with tears) would bloom this year.' I hope and pray for that too.

We sang this song in worship today.

Your blood speaks a better word
Than all the empty claims I've heard upon this earth
Speaks righteousness for me
And stands in my defence
Jesus it's Your blood

What can wash away our sins?
What can make us whole again?
Nothing but the blood
Nothing but the blood of Jesus
What can wash us pure as snow?
Welcomed as the friends of God
Nothing but Your blood
Nothing but Your blood King Jesus

Your cross testifies in grace
Tells of the Father's heart to make a way for us
Now boldly we approach
Not by earthly confidence
It's only by Your blood

So this is my wish for this year, for me and for you; that we would let God hold us. That we would stop holding others responsible for our pain but let God do a work in us to heal it. That He would work the miracle of forgiveness within His church so that we could one day praise Him together, sitting at the banqueting table with each other and with Him. That He would make a way for us.