National Association of Christian Recovery

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Jan 22, 2007

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How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my
heart?Psalm 13:1-2

Sometimes our spiritual distress is centered on questions about God.
Where
is God? Why doesn't God help? At other times our spiritual distress is
centered
on questions about ourselves. What is wrong with me? How come I'm still
struggling this much?

Doubts about ourselves can be profoundly troubling. We wonder if our
faith
will survive the struggle. We wonder if our faith is strong enough.
Often
we feel like spiritual failures. The kind of spirituality we have been
taught
does not envision 'good' Christians as people who wrestle with their
thoughts
and are sad everyday. We think of 'good' Christians as people who trust
God and manage to smile in the midst of any circumstances. When we can't
manage to do this, we question and criticize ourselves.

But wrestling with our thoughts and experiencing sorrow day after day is
often a part of the recovery process. It is not a sign of failure to
engage
in this hard work. It is a sign of courage. And it is a sign that our
faith
is alive and struggling. People of real faith struggle in life. People
of
real faith are people who wrestle with thoughts and who feel sorrow in
their
heart.

Lord, I get so tired of thought-wrestling.
And I am so weary of heart-sorrow.
How long, Lord?
How long does this wrestling and sorrow go on?

Help me, Lord, not to experience this struggle as spiritual failure.
Help me to see this hard work as drawing me closer to you.
Remind me today that you are with me in all of this.
Remind me today that you understand.
Amen.

Copyright 1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan