Reflecting back.

For several years now, on Easter morning, we have as a community, taken a wooden cross up the hill behind the theatre where we meet and in different ways left a personal mark there on it. Always, I have walked away with a sense of peace found in the symbolism of that act.
Today I am amazed and more than a little humbled by the peace that He has been giving me, without the symbolism and in His timing. In reflecting on the things that have been happening around me these last few years I have found a contentment with the outcome. Although there has been considerable pain involved, the moments of joy are something that I treasure. I can see how God has protected us from what the future was going to bring. That future that is 'today'. I have come to realize that I would not change anything that I had done, the work or the prayers, or the tears that were shed. In hindsight we can always say as a community we should have done this or that differently but I have peace in how it was done. We were true to our character. I know that I was obedient to what God had called me to do. Now He is allowing me a time of rest. And peace... unimaginable.
In the approach of Easter I am once again making that commitment that drew me to Him in the first place. That desire to be set apart for His service. Agreeable to the turmoil that may bring. There will be pain again, but He calls me to love. To do otherwise is to be less than who He made me to be. To be less is to make a mockery of His actions on that cross. My standards are high, to honor Him, and He makes it possible to attain that goal. If I compromise I am not trusting Him fully.
My church is a community of believers that has been called to be different; different from the mainstream church, different from other believers, different from the culture and society that we live in. We are attacked for that. Often from other churches; from other christians. (Interestingly, it is rarely from those who we minister to.) Sometimes the attack comes from the inside, from those who we should trust. Our leadership is the most vulnerable. It devastates me sometimes to see how satan operates, how often he appears to win. I know that it is only an appearance of victory though. God will protect the integrity of His name. That 'in all things God works for the good of those who are called according to His purposes.'
I find peace and hope in that.