Dreaming

Fighting waking up this morning, trying to be lazy and enjoy the opportunity to lie in bed. The sun is making it's way around the sides of the blind. Enticing me to enjoy it's warmth. I linger with my eyes closed, thanking God for another sunny day before the winter comes again.
Drifting back to sleep I dream of a house we used to own. About buying it back and discovering that all the renovations that we had wanted to do while living there had been done in the time since. In my dream the house still contains the memories of small boys laughing in the back yard. It has been opened up to the sunlight, rooms expanded, and impossibly, the location changed. It sits by the ocean, I can smell the breeze as I go out the back door. It draws me down to the shore.
I wake up fully and laugh at my silliness. The dream contains the memories of the past and the hope for the future. Is it even possible to have it all in one place? It occurs to me that it is a dream that I want to hang on to, but wonder if it will ever be. To live in a place that reaches all of the desires God has given me. Do I reach for that dream or do I let it go?
I am a year older today than I was yesterday. It seems that time goes more quickly and I can see the effects of it in my life and on my body. God propells me on this journey when I would like to linger. Stop...I want to say, you are going too fast for me. There is so much more I want to do, to finish or even to start. He knows the plans that He has for me, and I must trust in Him. He will bring healing and growth, restoration and reconciliation. In His time. As my years are added up, maybe in my time too.

For now, I will enjoy my dreams.