Friends

"Ten Friends that Every Woman Needs"
by Dr. Jan Yager

1. Casual Friend = Someone with whom you have a connection with, but it is far from intimate, something more than an a acquaintance and less than a close friend. This is someone to share "information and activities."
2. Close Friend = Someone you feel comfortable enough with to be yourself, regardless of the situation. You can "confide your private thoughts or feelings" with a close friend because you share a mutual trust.
3. Best Friend = Someone with whom you share a high level of intimacy, with "an assumption of exclusivity, " regardless of living distance.
4. Same-Sex Friend = Someone of the same gender that helps you "validate or challenge your own perspectives and is able to share about similar experiences... with issues related to fashion, career, romantic relationships, or childbearing."
5. Opposite-Sex Friend = Someone who provides you with "a break from those gender-specific ways of connecting" and provides a difference of opinion.
6. Nostalia Friend = "A nostalgia friend reminds you of where you've been as a way of reaffirming how far you've traveled in life." This friend supplies continuity as well as structure.
7. Role Model Friend = This friend takes you to the next level. This is someone you admire for their life choices and who inspires you to push forward.
8. Motivator Friend = When you feel defeated or overwhelmed, this friend picks you up out of the mud and inspires you to keep trying. (Usually, this is my mom's role...)
9. Realist Friend = This friend "tempers your enthusiasm and wild plans with welcome and well-meaning realism." The realist helps you keep your feet on the ground by supplying other ideas and options you may not have explored yet. (This is also mom!)
10. Nurturer Friend = This friend supports both physically and emotionally, empathizing with your joys and sadness on "a deep level that it helps you feel safer and stronger."

It is said that to be really healthy we need to have all ten of these types of friends. One of my friends once said to me that in spite of all his weaknesses the one thing that he believed he always did well was to be a friend. Some times we excell at it, other times we really suck, so self involved that we are incapable of doing anything in servanthood. There are some people that speak Christ into my life. There are others that I have to be very careful with, not sharing intimate thoughts. It is a rare person that can fill nine of the roles. (Obviously they couldn't be both sexes at once, so they couldn't fill all ten. hmmm...oh never mind) I have been blessed with several people like that throughout my life.
I am honest with people when they are direct with me. They usually know where I stand on issues, especially if they know anything of Christ. (I like Him so much I try to be like Him.) It makes me steadfast. He is the standard by which I can measure the depth of my ability to be a good friend. So when friends disappoint me, let me down or hurt me, I cannot change my standard. I must remain in Christ.

Simply said, but so hard to do.